be careful what you post online because future employers might see it and want to hang out with you because you’re so cool
How to use “and” 5 times in a row grammatically:
A man owned a store called “This And That” and hired another man to make a sign for it. When it was finished the owner inspected the work. He discovered that the spaces were wrong so he said “the space between This and And and And and That is different. Please fix it”
IM SO ANGRY
what if i just started making a ton of tree puns
im going to go out on a limb and say you look great today..
the weather sure is leafy outside..
i hate to see you leaf…
you know you’re getting old when you watch the little mermaid and when ariel says “i’m 16 years old. i’m not a child anymore.” and you’re just sat there like yes you fucking are young lady stop it
I saw this cute girl at a coffee shop sitting all alone and I came up to her and asked her what she was drinking she told me “That’s none of your business” bitch I was trying to be fucking romantic and find love at a coffee shop
Fuck you and your fucking coffee
today is 11/12/13 for everyone who isn’t american and i find that beautiful
I write my dates like this and I’m American…
I’m afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning.
Catching Fire is actual proof that if you stick to the book’s plot, the movie will do fantastic
I’m not mentally or physically ready for the time of the doctor
giving birth is essentially just like pooping except out a different hole
are your poops covered in blood and start screaming and crying
only after i eat mexican food
- Normal people: Guys, guys! Its almost Christmas!!! Only 14 days
- Me: What even is Christmas, that thing that comes around only once every year? Sherlock lives bitch and it takes him about 3 years to get here. Wake me up in 21 days